Since the UK-wide COVID-19 lockdown began on 23 March 2020, there has been a 49% increase in calls and online requests for help relating to domestic abuse.
Children are often more aware of the abuse than their parents realise.
Recognising domestic violence and abuse Domestic violent and abusive behaviour covers a broad remit and can be:
• Physical such as, hitting, pushing, retraining, kicking, punching, imprisoning, forced use or removal of drugs/medication, assault with implements, etc. Domestic abuse also refers to ‘female genital mutilation’, forced marriage and ‘honour’-based violence.
• Psychological such as, blaming, demeaning, shouting, frightening, ignoring, humiliating, threatening harm to children, using the children as a weapon, ridiculing appearance and skills, setting rules about sleep, leisure time, contact with others, isolating from family and friends, threatening suicide or self-harm, and ‘gaslighting’ (manipulating someone by psychological means into doubting their own sanity).
• Financial such as, illegal or unauthorised use of someone’s property, money, keeping in poverty, demanding to know what they spend, taking over finances etc.
• Sexual such as, forcing sexual activity without consent, sexual name calling, imposition of dress codes, knowingly passing on STIs, involving partner in sex trade or pornography etc.
• Neglect depriving someone of food, shelter, access to medical care etc.
• Spiritual not allowing worship, using faith as a weapon for abuser’s personal pleasure or gain, using religious teaching to justify abuse or to compel forgiveness.
Click on the link below to open a long list of helplines and information about how to safely get help.
Phone the Police
If you are in immediate danger, call 999 and ask for the police.
If you are in danger and unable to talk on the phone, call 999 and listen to the ques1ons from the operator and if possible, respond by coughing or tapping the head set.
If prompted, press 55 to Make Yourself Heard and this will transfer your call to the police. (NB Pressing 55 only works on mobiles and does not allow police to track your location.) See the information below on ‘Press 55’
When 999 calls are made from landlines, informa1on about your loca1on should be automa1cally available to the call handlers to help provide a response.
Bishop John Sherrington, who chairs the Domestic Abuse Group, said: “Every person has a right to live their life free from violence, abuse, intimidation and fear. Catholic parishes can play an important role in the fighting the scourge of domestic abuse, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic where we are seeing some shocking statistics from leading domestic abuse organisations. My thanks go to those organisations and individuals already working so hard to ensure that people suffering domestic abuse can live safe lives”.
One in four women and about one in six men suffer from domestic abuse in their lifetime. Two women are killed every week in England by a partner or ex-partner.
We acknowledge that men, women and children suffer domestic abuse at the hands of husbands, wives, parents and other family members. Violence of this kind should never be tolerated or justified. It is an offence against the dignity of the human person.
The Church is recognising the hurt done to those who have experienced domestic abuse. Pope Francis writes:
‘Unacceptable customs still need to be eliminated. I think particularly of the shameful ill-treatment to which women are sometimes subjected, domestic violence and various forms of enslavement which, rather than a show of masculine power, are craven acts of cowardice. The verbal, physical, and sexual violence that women endure in some marriages contradicts the very nature of the conjugal union.’ (Amoris Laetitia 54)
There is Catholic teaching on domestic abuse in Canon Law:
Can. 1153
§1. If either of the spouses causes grave mental or physical danger to the other spouse or to the offspring or otherwise renders common life too difficult, that spouse gives the other a legitimate cause for leaving, either by decree of the local ordinary or even on his or her own authority if there is danger in delay.
§2. In all cases, when the cause for the separation ceases, conjugal living must be restored unless ecclesiastical authority has established otherwise.
Greater awareness of the scourge of domestic abuse is a positive development as it is the first step towards addressing a serious moral and social problem.
In particular we wish to highlight the need for public education and action regarding domestic violence, especially against women. Such violence includes many forms of non-physical intimidation such as persistent verbal abuse, emotional blackmail and enforced social or financial deprivation. It may occur in any type of close adult relationship.
For those who are experiencing domestic abuse, the home is far from being a place of security and self-fulfilment. Too often it is a place of pain, fear, degradation and isolation.
The most effective way in which Catholics will be able to help men, women and children who are victims of domestic violence is by giving their support to existing groups and projects and by assisting in the spread of awareness and information.
Within our parishes it is very important for all of us, priests and parishioners, to be alert, to be sensitive, and from time to time to use the opportunities we have in preaching for example to speak of the dignity of human beings and to emphasise the equal dignity of women and men; particularly within marriage.
We also have a culture of safeguarding which is part of the life of the Catholic Church in this country. It is important for those involved in this work to be aware of and alert to the particular problem of domestic abuse.
Domestic abuse is often a hidden problem, and our aim is for anyone experiencing domestic abuse to feel able to have confidence to seek help within the Church setting.